Published by Elephant Journal ~February 9 2017

Nicholas Sparks once wrote, “You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts people you love.”

This is a difficult article for me to write. But as a writer, I challenge myself to write about the hard stuff. The stuff that festers beneath the veneer of positivity and warrior affirmations and tough, Jersey Girl bravado I keep wrapped around me like a suit of armor.

Really, I’m just a girl like every other—human, flawed and finding my way.

And today, I find myself in an entirely difference place than where I was three years ago maybe when my husband left.

I could paint a picture to make myself look like the victim: the sweet, innocent, loving wife who was devastated when the man she considered to be her whole world chose to start a different life—one that didn’t include being married to her anymore.

But there’s another picture, one I see clearly now. It emerged out of a thousand tears and a hundred sleepless nights praying for answers and asking for peace. The paint slowly made its soft brushstrokes by itself while I relentlessly sought to heal from the pain and loss I felt and rebuild my life.



The Truth About Marriage That Nobody Tells Us

Published by Elephant Journal ~ October 6, 2015

Growing up like every young girl, I dreamt of my wedding day.

I never thought much about actually being married and what that might look like, but the wedding… I had thatall mapped out.

When I was in my mid-late 20s, it seemed that all of my friends had found their dream man. I was a bridesmaid in five weddings in one year alone, and attended another three the following year.

I took copious notes on what I liked at my friends weddings that I’d do at my own, what I didn’t like that I absolutely would not allow at my own wedding…and then I’d brainstorm fabulously creative things to make my wedding stand out from all the rest.

My wedding was pretty fabulous, I must say.

And I certainly didn’t think my marriage would be anything less than perfect or anything short of forever, because I grew up Catholic and Italian. And those people never get divorced.

Well, rarely.

I was pretty realistic about marriage thanks to my parents. They taught my siblings and I that it was a huge commitment not to be rushed into.

They showed us that it wasn’t all sunshine and roses…that some years there would be a lot of bickering and tough times, but you sucked it up and made the best of it because that’s what a strong marriage is about.

They were big on loyalty and trust. They showed us that there were a ton of sacrifices to be made once you had a family.

Marriage is not for the faint of heart.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s