GO JENNIFER ANISTON: WHY THE WORLD NEEDED TO HEAR HER INSPIRING MESSAGE
Published by Elephant Journal ~ July 14, 2016
Let me start by saying that like Jennifer Aniston, I don’t like to give energy to negativity, especially topics that put down or attack other cultures, political parties, religions and people.
If the subject is controversial, I’ll shy away from it so as not to add more fuel to the already raging fire of our world today.
But I cannot refrain from proudly supporting a person who had the courage and bravery to step into the spotlight when they value their privacy so much to give voice to the horrible body shaming so prevalent in our society today and say, “Enough is enough and I’m fed up.”
As a woman close to Jennifer Aniston’s age, I was deeply moved and inspired that she took the time to thoughtfully and powerfully address the rumors about herself and the general attitude in our country about women’s looks and bodies. I have been fed up for most of my adult life at the callous comments I hear from other people, both men and women, tearing apart both themselves and others for not looking a certain way.
DEAR 45 YEAR OLD BODY: LET’S MAKE PEACE ALREADY
Published by Elephant Journal ~ Sept 10, 2015
To my beautiful, 45-year-old body:
This week, you crest the hump of your 40s. I’d like to say I looked at you, in all your glorious nakedness this morning, and did back-flips over how incredible you look—but that would go against my life long pattern of picking you apart, body part by body part, and criticizing even the tiniest of flaws.
I noticed the other day, that I mentioned to someone how I used to have an eating disorder. I did this in the same way I’d mention to someone, “Oh, my hair used to be brown before I started highlighting it.”
So casual and flippant, like I was talking about some fun childhood game I used to play when I was growing up—instead of the cunning, baffling and powerless disease I used to fight on a daily basis from the time I was 16 years old.
Oh yeah—just this little eating disorder thing. Didn’t I ever mention it?
THE LONG PAINFUL ROAD TO LOVING MYSELF
Published by The Manifestation Station ~ April 11, 2016
“Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman. Too smart, too beautiful, too strong. Too much of something. That makes a man feel like less of a man, which will start making you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your own crown to make it easier for a man to carry.
When this happens, I need you to understand, you do not need a smaller crown—you need a man with bigger hands.” ~ Michael Reid
The first time I heard Michael Reid’s beautiful poem, it was read to me by my best friend in an intimate group and it resonated with me in a big way. I had often felt throughout my life that maybe I was too much… too much of something (independent, outspoken, honest, sensitive) that made me “not enough”.
The 2nd time I read it was when an old male friend of mine who has known me close to 20 years posted it on my Facebook wall recently. It resonated with me even more the 2nd time around because he knew what I have been through the past few years and his gesture in sending it reminded me to stay the course… and to not dim myself for anyone, including myself.
Prior to the last 2 1/2 years of my life, I would have argued that I was completely happy with myself and no longer felt that I was “too much” of anything. I loved my life and what I had made of it and felt pretty confident in who I was.
What I didn’t realize was that I had been stuffing down and not acknowledging this old story about myself that I’m “not enough”. A story that only those intimately close to me would tell you existed and that it was actually running my life.
EMBRACING YOUR MESSY, IMPERFECT SELF
Published by Elephant Journal ~ January 10, 2016
“You are responsible for everything in your life…”
Life is messy. And beautiful. And challenging. And unpredictable. And awful and wonderful all at the same time.
And as humans, so are we…messy, beautiful, challenging, difficult, light and dark. We are all of it. Yet we try so hard to just be the good. The light. The perfect. We work to just be the things we think people expect us to be.
When the truth is, nobody expects us to be perfect all of the time. Except maybe ourselves.
Since my early 20s, I have been on an intense journey inward…a journey into really knowing and understanding my very imperfect, complicated and messy self.
I was and always have been convinced that the only path to truly loving and accepting ourselves is by becoming more self-aware, so we can understand why we make the choices we do and why we are the way that we are.
Although our identity is mostly formed in our early years (psychologists say we form our identity by the age of six years old), this isn’t about blaming our parents or our childhood, since most everything we become later in life somehow connects back to our experiences as a child.
This is simply about making the connections and understanding where our deepest fears, ingrained patterns and ways of being in the world originated from so that we can understand them.
And then owning all of it. All of our messiness. All of our choices. And all of our delicious imperfectness.
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BEING “TOO MUCH” WOMAN
Published by Elephant Journal ~ September 9, 2015
Prior to the past two years of my life, I never would have considered myself “too much” woman.
On the contrary, I always thought of myself as “not enough.”
I only discovered this unconscious belief through my recent journey inward after my marriage fell apart and life as I knew it fell with it.
On my soulful, intentional journey inward, I connected more fully with my true self: who I am, my deepest wants and desires and my raw, vulnerable, soft heart so much in need of love.
I have had to face parts of myself that were broken and shattered beyond recognition—knowing it was time to put the pieces back together—and other parts I tried to hide my entire life because I was not proud of them.
THE GENIUS OF SELF-LOVE: 10 STEPS TO REVOLUTIONIZE YOUR LIFE
Published by SIVANA SPIRIT ~ December 1, 2015
Learning to take care of myself has been one of my biggest challenges.
For most of my life, I was the girl who took care of everybody else. I wanted to be the greatest friend. The best partner. A good daughter.
I distracted myself because I was scared to go inside. Focusing on everyone else and not giving myself what I truly needed fed my ego and made me feel that I was a “good person.” Although people appreciated me always being there for them, I started to realize I was neglecting the most important person of all… myself.
It was only recently that I learned how to practice extreme self-love, and I’m still stumbling along the way.
My ingrained “pattern” is still to put others first—to sacrifice myself, my emotional well-being, sometimes even my heart—to be there for someone else and make a difference in their lives.
But I’m finding the only way to true happiness is to fall in love with ourselves first and practice self-love every day. This requires letting go of our past, forgiving ourselves, and setting boundaries with others.